Thursday, September 1, 2011

school writing

            Ever since I started grade 7, I had this pretty nifty ability that allowed me to write 1000 words without stopping. I generally wouldn’t think about what I was writing, and just continue writing, and for some reason, I always got good marks on whatever I wrote. Whenever our class had a writing assignment, I would be the first one finished, and everyone else would be all like, “you’re a beast at writing, how do you do that?” And I’d be all like, *flex* “I dunno.”

            When I got in to my final years of high school, which, in Quebec, Canada, is finished at grade 11, I finally realised that I could use my little ability to have some fun. I was the type of kid who had fun making teachers angry, I was often told by my English teacher that I was passive aggressive. I would make teachers angry by being very mellow and saying un-hostile things that would irritate them.

            In grade 11, when we would get writing assignments at least once a week in English class, I would put my pretty cool ability to work. These writing assignments were to be done in class, and before class was finished, which was about an hour and 15 minutes. I would start off the class by doing nothing; maybe daydream for a bit, throw cut up eraser bits at my friend across the class while the teacher wasn’t looking, things like that. The one thing I noticed the most is that everyone works so hard for those 75 minutes. I couldn’t help but think it was rather funny.

            These writing assignments we had were generally a page long, sometimes two. This would mean I could write anywhere from 300-500 words per page, depending on how many big words I use, how big the font is, and how far apart I wanna spread the words apart. It amazes me that most of the time, some people who do what I just stated, they make their words big enough that you can read them from 20 feet away, they space their words so that only 4 words are on each line, and they still can’t seem to finish the paper before the end of class.

            I’ve had quite a bit of fun making my teachers get angry by saying I didn’t want to write my paper just yet, and they’d get all furious and be like, “you need to write your paper or you’re gonna fail my class.” Most of the time I’d just make a scene, and play stupid, which would usually make the class laugh, and the teacher angrier.

At one point before the end of the year, about a month before the year ended, I think my English teacher snapped, she went as far as putting me out in the hall, where I played with a fire extinguisher for 30 minutes. After she noticed me not doing anything, she sent me to the principles office, where I played the insecure child who didn’t know what to write about.

I stayed in my principles office for a few min, he had a really comfy sofa, but then he got all tough and was like, “I’m calling your parents.” So, I gave him my mom’s old cell phone number, which wasn’t in use, and he was all like, “this number isn’t in use, what’s the real number.” So I had to get my actin on and act surprised, just like I did when I was 6 years old and made a mess, and fooled my parents into thinking my sister or brother did it. I acted surprised and told him I didn’t know her cell phone number.
When I got bored of the principles office, I was all like, “yo, so like, I can finish my paper now?” And I really did say yo, cuz us high skoolers is so rebelious when it comes to grammer and propper speach yo. So, the principle sent me back to my class, after telling me to start doing my work, and I just nodded and walked away, feelin like a champ.

I returned to class, and some dude in the back of the room was all like, “the hero returns.” Everyone else seemed happy to see me return as well, as if I just came back from battling a dragon that was attacking their village. As I sat down, a couple people whispered to me, “you’re my hero.” I thought that was kinda cool, so I thanked them, and with only 10 minutes left in class I decided to start writing.